The Prudent Mariner maintains access to firefighting equipment at all times.

The Prudent Mariner finishes his cell phone conversation prior to dropping a deuce in a public restroom.

The Prudent Mariner, when asked by the giant idiot with the neck tattoo, moves.

The Prudent Mariner safeguards his health when venturing ashore by living in accordance with the following credo: When in doubt, keep it out... of your mouth.

The Prudent Mariner fuels his vessel prior to the advance of foul weather upon oil producing regions.

The Prudent Mariner has Mad Dance Skillz

The Prudent Mariner always looks in even the most unlikely and inappropriate places for her lost kayak paddle.

The Prudent Mariner does not doubt the existence of the rumored two-foot ledge, despite the six-foot sounding on the chart.

The Prudent Mariner ALWAYS shrink-wraps his organ.

The Prudent Mariner docks his mini-destroyer inboard of his motor yacht.